Grief isn’t just when someone dies

When you think about the term grief, most likely you associate it with when someone dies, but grief is about loss of any kind.

· Break up

· Losing a friend

· Divorce

· Loss of health

· A miscarriage

· Retirement

· Loss of job/financial security

· Loss of a perceived future

· Your youth

· A past you were never given

· Loss of your sense of self

· A loved one’s serious illness

· Loss of safety

I’m sure there are many others, grief is not a linear process and there are several phases of grief. Five, according to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who defined them as: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. These five areas make up the framework in which losses are worked through:

Denial: Avoidance, confusion, elation, shock, fear

Anger: Frustration, irritation, anxiety

Depression: Overwhelmed, helplessness, hostility, flight

Bargaining: Struggling to find meaning, reaching out to others, telling your story

Acceptance: Exploring options, new plan in place, moving on

And these stages can be applied to any kind of grief, for serious grief, they will take longer to work through, and as I said above the process isn’t liner, you maybe move back to previous stages.

Some tips to help you whilst you work through your grief are as follows:

· Acknowledge your pain, sit with it

· Accept that grief can bring with it many different and sometimes unexpected emotions

· Understand that your grieving process will be totally unique to you

· Seek out support from people who care about you, reach out

· Accept that some people feel awkward about grief and don’t let that put you off from reaching out

· If you’re not able to talk about it, write about it or use other creative methods like art or poetry

· Don’t tell yourself or let anyone else tell you how to feel, whatever you’re feeling is ok

· Know that it is ok to move forwards, the memory of the person or thing you have lost will always be a part of you